Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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