Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
do herpes really smell.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
