when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's not a walk of shame if you run
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
