you guys were way drunker than both of me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
