I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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