It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
