and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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