your room smells of hookers.
And success
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
