Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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