I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
