I just made out with a guy for $7.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
