So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
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We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
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An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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