apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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