You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
All I want is dick and wine.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
