Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
