Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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