Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
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Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.