She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
