16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
