I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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