At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
