I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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