How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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