toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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