so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
