he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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