Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
