to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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