I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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