I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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