I CAN MOONWALK!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
