they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
