Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So much Jack, so little girl.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
