Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
