he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
