Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize