There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
