Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
