Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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