After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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