I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
