If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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