Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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