Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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