I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize