Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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