super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
