are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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