$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
