I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
