pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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