Will you blow on my dice?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
