we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
