"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
