She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
