Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
