Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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