i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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