Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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