Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
honey bunches of taint.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
