Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
