i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
