You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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