If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
