3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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